At many times, I find myself struggling emotionally due to many unmet needs in my life. I get discouraged or become bitter when my expectations and needs are not met by people in my life (sometimes even strangers). I do show my resentment outwardly sometimes but mostly resort to clamming up and invite myself into a self-pity party. Woe to me, I am sad, depressed, hurt, and lonely….
However, I’ve come to realize that the most of my “needs” are actually, at their core, my “wants”. I know there are physical, social, emotional needs that have to be met in order for us to function “normally” or become a better person. But how do I define those needs in my life? If I eat enough food to sustain my body, my need for food has been met. But I say to myself, “I need my Peppermint Mocha (NOW)!” Is that really a need or desire? I don’t have the greatest counselor to go and see when I go through trouble but have my husband, children, and a good number of friends that I can talk to. I have a shelter and more than enough clothes to keep me warm and protected. I have a church to go worship and hear God’s message every Sunday.
But I can’t deny the feeling of loneliness and neediness that creeps into my heart time to time. And I feel legit pain and distress when I go through them. The reason is that I have so much “WANTS” in my heart and sadly I misunderstood them as my “NEEDS”. When I deal with my wants, I can be little more tolerant, but it’s a totally different level of emotion and stress if I see them as something I need. I will be resentful for others for not (fully) meeting my intimacy needs. I will blame God for not providing for me or answering my request. I will agonize over things I don’t have.
Recognize and give thanks to God for meeting more than my needs, then I will be able to say what the Psalmist says in Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want”. If I can remember the shepherd who cares, loves, provides, protects, and leads me everyday in my life, then I shall not be struggling so much with my “wants”.
I think that God intentionally DOESN’T meet our “wants” many times because we won’t have the opportunity to recognize his provisions that’s already in our lives, we will continue to pursue after our wants and selfish desires and ultimately lose the sight of God and the true hope and expectation for the end of our journey when we will experience the surpassing sweetness of what this life can bring to us. That is the day that the Lord Jesus will redeem and restore everything sad, lost, broken, and bounded in our lives.
Lord, I come to you this Lord’s Day morning with thanksgivings. I lay down my wants before you. Please fill my heart and my journey with the hope of that day.
